"Dear Jim, please can you fix it for me to own a bar of soap that looks exactly like the medal you presented to thousands of smug kids?" Course he can.

This Key Bottle Opener from intriguingly-titled designers Suck UK is exactly the same size as an average Chubb deadlock. Guarantees entry into any beer bottle - and it won't feel left out when kept with your other keys.

Every weird, wonderful, useful and useless thing you ever wanted to know about London but were afraid to ask (for fear of being locked up or laughed at) is here in this bizarre new book.

Now you can carry Mr T around in your pocket without having to call the A-Team, thanks to this hilarious electronic gizmo. Simply press a button and you'll hear one of his legendary one-liners! We're on the jazz, man!

Making tea or coffee for friends can be a haphazard business. So why not get it right every time with these smart mugs that feature colour matching charts on the inside. Simply match the brew to the selected colour.

Easy! Pass the digestives.

Making tea or coffee for friends can be a haphazard business. So why not get it right every time with these smart mugs that feature colour matching charts on the inside. Simply match the brew to the selected colour.

Easy! Pass the digestives.

So what if you're in love, this is still the computer age. That's why you need to tell someone how you feel with these magnetic keyboard keys that spell LOVE Ü or MISS U. Ideal for love-struck compugeeks.

Mmm, she said, ooh, I said, yes dear...have you seen these marvellous little wind-up Racing Grannies? Ooh, lovely...yes dear, they shuffle along with their walking frames. Lovely...put the kettle on.

Create percussive pandemonium of Keith Moon proportions and indulge in a bit of crash, bang, wallop with these ingenious electronic drumsticks. Bash them against any surface or play 'air' drums in order to blast out different drum noises and jam along to the pre-recorded tune.

Can't wake up, won't wake up? They will when you lob a Sonic Grenade into the bedroom, because this highly effective device emits an unremitting din that would wake a dead doorpost in a coma!